Thursday, June 21, 2012


I have this bassinet. With the softest sheet you've ever felt in it. And in the midst of all my whining about uncomfortable sleep, if any, and contractions and someone else eating the last cookie, my stomach shifts alien like to the side and back again and the world's greatest joy comes over me. That's my little man. He will sleep on the world's softest sheet. And he will have tiny little toes for me to kiss. And an itty bitty bum. And sleep will change from uncomfortable to invisible and it will be worth every minute as his little self snuggles up on my chest. I have been so blessed with my 2 girls; I can't believe God's letting me have another one. He has the hiccups as I write this and I wonder if he's excited to meet me too? Or maybe he feels he already has? We couldn't be closer. Will he miss my gastronomical roaring? Or will it be a worthy exchange to have kisses instead? There are 3 weeks left on the clock, but I wonder if he might want to meet me sooner? And I pray I can be everything to him that I want to be. He'll have to share me more than the girls did, but in exchange he gets 2 incredible sisters that are excited to meet him. I remember their tiny toes, back when they let me kiss them. I still get to occasionally, but have to ask permission now. Motherhood. Something so terribly wonderful. 

Monday, June 11, 2012


I always have a stack of things on my desk to remind me of everything I want to share with the world, a file of photos online to remind me. And I wait till that bug in me says, "now! write!" because I've found my forced writing to be particularly boring. So today it hit and I have no stack. I have no file. Strange. So I sit here and think, well, something wants to come out, what is it? <insert sip of fabulous cappuccino here.>
I just read a wonderful article about following God's path for you without apology and I thought, yeah, I need to do that! But what is God's path for me? I'm not famous, the world will not mourn when I die, I'm not discovering anything. And the next thing I read (I like to open 10 links at once on my screen, make a cup of coffee, and make my way through all my reading when there's silence in the house,) the next thing was the packing list for the hospital. And it struck me, I don't need a fancy calling. I have a calling. A wonderful calling. I'm a Mama and a Wife and a Friend and I love it. I watched an excellent video about why it's okay to be an introvert (and maybe even, dare I say, good? Dare! Dare!) yesterday and thought I don't want to be famous! I've never sought the spotlight and as I get older and start to realize, that's not sissy or shy or weird, it's just how God made me I realize my calling is clear and I'm right smack in the middle of it. I married an extrovert and I love, love, love supporting him and all his busyness. And I have one little Extro and will shortly be supporting her busyness as well (she's been asking to start a dance class for 2 months straight) and one little Intro who I totally get because if you ask her what she'd like to do, it's sit next to you and color or read in a corner. And I'm glad I know who I am, so I can support who she is; who they are. Our culture has so many "right" and "wrongs" in it where they shouldn't be, and so many gray areas where there really is a black and white that this seemingly simple, behind the scenes job is actually huge. It's life altering to at least 3 people so far, and next month 4.
I guess that's what was in there. Peace. Joy. And my favorite word: Contentilated. I am contentilated. And now, I'm off to the dungeon. I mean laundry room. To solve world peace.